Blog Day 3 From Esalen to Burning Man to Broke

Dear Ones from Planet Earth. You are under a close watch. Your mission is to experience all that you can BE here for all you touch and all you see is based on Choices for your Evolution. We have no time. The time to Ascend is upon us. I am struck by my blessings. I thought after a heart breaking Supermoon "breakup" that I would be alone and sad all day lying around depressed. But instead my soul supported me in quantum shifting my Shit and helping me rise in Love today experiencing true Joy.

I had dreams that could only be described as silly, weird and fun last night. After a bucket of tears, a full moon kundalini meditation and my body being taken over by what I can only describe as aliens I awoke today to a chiropractic appointment complete with massage, heating pads and electrostimulation therapy. The price tag was FREE yes Free. Courtesy of Mercury insurance since I was hit by a car while walking and now I get treatments for a few months FREE. Yeah just get hit by a car to FINALLY decide to help oneself. That's me.

SO as I was saying I arrived to the Pier in Santa Monica after the treatments and sat watching a Trapeze School training and some aerial acrobats. Walking slowly talking with Aungellah about girlie topics and feeling into my sadness I released the disappointment that I may not have been "good enough" for someone. And that someone was someone I considered to be my Twin Flame Soul Mate. I visualized him as a Spiritual Master, healer, hero, warrior of peace, teacher, Prophet, Listener. I realized he was just human. An animal like me. I wanted to be "good enough" but in the end I was rejected in a hurtful way and felt disconnected. Maybe it's just my interpretation of his behavior. Maybe he was a really poor match for me.

Onward and upward I decided to meet a dentist friend today who told me she could not buy a package of sessions from me but she would introduce me to her brother. He and a few others who will want to commit to my work with them would be good leads and she bought me a Juicy Juice Smoothie in Brentwood. Actually she got a buy one get one FREE. Lots of FREE things in the world. Who said nothing in life was FREE!? I got so many FREE things today! Free parking, free drinks, free advertising for my business.
I have spoken to 4 cosmic soul mate friends today and one more to meet tomorrow to enlighten my day and provide me the support I need for this next chapter. Being poor, broke and vulnerable. Yeah I choose this and it happens FOR me and not to me. There is NO duality. No THING is bad for You. I want to learn to stay Peaceful in the worst condition I could imagine. For me at least.

Last month I attended a psuedo-XMEN school called "Esalen"  in Big Sur, CA from August 3rd until the 29th and it changed my MIND about leadership, control, community, hard work, and allowing mystical beings to help me.  My first week of work I had an argument with a woman who was violent and reactive and trying to control me like a boss at work. I made sure she knew I was the teacher without intentionally being one. The traumatic event occurred in the Lodge and culminated in her grabbing my arm in a violent physical aggression trauma and she proceeded to block my path on a bridge. I told her I did not need her to tell me how to do my job. I would be a perfectionist  if I chose to NOT because her version of perfect should be MY version of a perfect job. If I want to make mistakes that is my choice. So the power struggle began and without going into details it ended with gossip, childish behavior and my kind request for respect from her which she denied me defiantly. When I started laying boundaries she started telling me again how about the HIERARCHY. That was for the outside world NOT this place off the grid in the beautiful mountains of a UTOPIAN community. But as I learned even heaven has its shadow side. Without the dark side would there be Light. Contrast is King and the Key to learning!
So after this I began a journey home....to myself, and my soul was ripped out as my Ego and negative Spirits were ripped from my body for an entire month straight.
Shamans, angels, teachers, so many helpers and I was one of them!
Feldenkrais, Michoacan shaman ladies, sexy Harry Potter-esque playboys, volleyball, kitchen work, gardening, naked sun bathing in the coldest ocean ever and mineral baths everyday for weeks. This was truly paradiso!

The messages and lessons that were learned have ripped out the weeds of my soul and re-directed me into the Light of my Being.

Blog Day 4 Life Grows On...

Tonight I chose to remain in peaceful states of Joy instead of Ecstatic Ego-driven heightened states of Exuberance at a bar called KingKing in Hollywood and I am proud of myself.  Sitting in my studio apartment with Camille a JOY nugget of Love is blissful! We are listening to my recorded music which made me SING with happiness in my heart. It is amazing how friends and soulmates can activate a part of you that lies dormant and can, when freed, liberate others. Love. That is what it does. Liberates.
Tonight I made a clear choice to meditate for 4 hours and then while Purified Feelings of Peace and Joy flooded me I felt Ms. Ego, overdosed and gooey, try to step in and take control various times with its manipulative ways. I wanted to go dancing in a BAR with "Conscious Burner" druggies to listen to two bands that I know. That was the wrong idea and I asked my guardians and Oversoul what was best.
Of course going home is what I chose. Despite the energized rowdy feeling I had and the free cover charge. I wondered how many conscious people go to late hours dance events to enjoy themselves and realize that the mixed energies just drain them instead of feeding their soul. Now I am loving every activating moment with my friend and partner in Sublime Camille! No worries here as we share our stories, laughter, love and support.

This choice led me to the morning of Oct 22 2014. A early morning wake up call from Spirit and I arose from bed to send messages of love to the world through my Facebook Page. I DO NOT CARE IF I AM BEING HELD UNDER SURVEILANCE BY THE GOVERNMENT. There is nothing they can do to imprison my spirit ...maybe my bank accounts can be closed and all my money stolen, and extra taxes dumped on me, and parking tickets in excess of hundreds of dollars...the Matrix cannot control my Soul. So here I am being blunt. It is my time to shine with out hiding the LIGHTHOUSE that I know I am and in this process enliven the spirit of the Fire of Transformation on the Earth.

SO as I was typing on the cell, I told my friend that I want to make money just being me and that she can consider this as a way out of financial stalemates by asking to be paid for just simply being herself. Then it came. The phone call that confirmed my TRUTH was True.
A woman with the same name as me, Jennifer, called and said she had seen my Amazon ad and wanted to come see me for a chakra balancing! But she wanted to pay me directly. More money and more abundance immediately delivered at the perfect time! A God sense of Humor erupted from me and there I was with overflowing joy and gratitude!

Ohmmm Ekadantha! May Ganesh continue to remove obstacles for you and me as we release the addictions, impulsive behavior ( yes You get that hand out of the cookie jar with chocolate bars), bad habits like raising your voice, uncontrollable emotions and all that does not represent who You truly are!
Amen Ashe Aho! 

Blog Day 2 Accepting the Reality YOU have chosen

Todays 4D reality: I was fired for being 5 minutes late to work. 

• Todays realization: I created this experience by visualizing the day before how can I tell my VP friend/boss I cannot work under the conditions at my job. 
• Todays BIG WIN: I have 3 days FREE every week to do whatever my Soul desires me to do. I was paid $1000 for an extra week and do not have to come into work. I was also given a traveling massage table as a going away gift, a hug from the CEO, and a blessing and a referral from the guy who fired me. Mostly because he does not know what to do with me. 

Many times we see job loss as a curse. When God kicks us out of the nest our baby eagle ass starts crying "screeching" and flapping. Flailing our wings and clawing with our talons to try to stay in the comfy nest. This will be my favorite blog. Our baby eagle wings need to get some exercise if we are to SURVIVE because we need to FLY. We sometimes resist this experience. Occasionally we try to tell God what we want adding our manipulative excuses and reasoning using our powerful yet limited human brain against ourselves. Thinking that the ALL that IS knows less about what is good for us than we do! 

HAH! You are fooling yourself. 

How do you learn to FLY as an eagle? Researching this on Gods best invention, Google, I discovered that they sometimes die trying. Often they do. The parent patiently waits for the "fledging" training and as it commences they will feed the baby until they learn by falling out of the nest and flapping vigorously or die trying. The parent is compassionate but stands by without emotion, without DOING IT FOR THEM since its not possible for the parent to DO it FOR the BABY. 

The process can take 4-6 months but by the time they can fly the baby eagle will fly away far from home. Then at age 40ish they do the unthinkable...if they choose. They painfully resurrect through self-destruction. 

Watch this youtube video>>>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J65MycJKwgw

And this one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTrWPvP0iQ

Enough said.

SO climb high and reach into your subconscious to dig up the trauma, drama, and karma. Do not repeat your pain, and re-circulate it in relationships. Be alone with yourself when a big change happens so you can process it and move forward in strength and courage. Do not distract yourself with the stimulants of this Earth dimension..... As they say let go and let God give you the better life on the other side of all this change and transformation. 

I am climbing a mountain. I see the ridge and cannot see beyond it. But I have faith that if I keep going with Gods support and providence a miraculous climb will result in a wondrous view from the top of a mountain. I might get tired, hurt, bored, scared, hungry, sad, angry, frustrated, but the feeling of rest between these experiences and the BLISS of the views from the mountain will outweigh ALL of these emotions. The view is REAL. The fear is NOT.

And I don't need to be an eagle with wings to get there. Neither do you. 

Compassion for a Cockroach

Blog Day 1 - Practice Compassion

Wouldn't you say it's easy to have compassion for this Cat, Marley. He is a sweetie! That was his favorite friend.
Now, to have compassion for a cockroach or not to have compassion for, YES, even a cockroach?
If you choose to participate in reading my blog you will discover an account of my "walk about" adult journey into discovering ONEness ....to remove blockades to connection to our Source, my innate spiritual wisdom and my Over Soul or Higher Conscious Self. Here you will find one "Divine Feminine" woman's adventure into a discovery that she can overcome her fears: of bees, joblessness, moving in with family at 33 (eeeeek Christ Year almighty!), re-locating to LA with PTSD symptoms (why would you do that?), living on a sailboat, near death experiences 4 times in 2 months (almost drowned in the Pacific, engine explosion and crashed a boat into a barge), hunted by a drone, traveling alone in Mexico and London, homelessness, communal living (7 people plus pets in a 3 bedroom condo with 3 bathrooms), living out of a car, boats, retreat centers, moving in with an Israeli boyfriend who's two hours late to EVERYTHING and late with rent ...and the list goes on.

Well today the greatest challenge yet came to pass after a night of past life regressions in a group with ANNA BLISS from get-hypnotized.com
Yes I have cockroaches as roomies. They aren't half bad, they don't really eat your food like a human roomie. They eat trash. They don't make any noise or wear your clothes. They don't use your bathroom supplies up and forget to buy more. They just fly in your hair and jump off the walls, and crawl under rugs. They stay out of your way mostly. I have become very adept in stealthy moves as I learn how to catch them and release them. As I complete a 40 day sadhana in the Kundalini style tradition, meditating at the wee hours of the morning (called the "ambrosial" hours) I feel that I must practice non-violence in every way possible to be a good student of the Guru, God, Source, Divine Spirit, Holy Spirit.

So I have made the choice to NOT kill cockroaches but to see them, capture them, talk to them about never returning and give them a chance to live .....outside of my home.
You may ask  "why so kind to a small freaky insect". Well, what if I was one of them? Just a slob like one of them? after ALL WE ARE KINDA LIKE COCKROACHES at times, scary, bacteria-ridden, look at a babies hands you will see! Humans take over wherever we live and we can survive, like they do, in almost any condition. We pro-create and wreak havoc sometimes but we destroy the habitat we dwell in, makin mountainous piles of trash while they just run around adapting to it and eating it. But really all we want is to mind our own business. We are like them in that way. If something 1000 times the size of me saw me and ran, screamed or tried to smash me every time I saw it I WOULD be traumatized!
So in the spirit of compassion I let them come visit and then I capture and release them.
Now today one landed on my head otherwise known as the "Crown Chakra". It was not cool. At 4 am I slowly crept to my bathroom with sagging eyes and groggy steps and bam! One of these buggers fell on my head and landed to the floor in shock. It was on its back and stunned. So I picked it up in a cup with an inspiring card that says "Universe is just waiting to create what you want if you just BE YOU. " Styrofoam cup and a hard card works great for capturing crawlers. Flies are way worse.
By this time I am surrendered after multiple summer days of capturing these little fellas.

But something says I should meditate and use prayer ...the kind of mental voodoo or mind projection to block cockroaches from entering my home. There is a crack under my front door which is the entry way and so there I focus my attention to create a invisible cockroach shield! Well God answers prayer.

I left for work after TWO captures that day before 7 am and one is lying on it's back twitching at the doorway to my home. Inside. For no reason it died upon entering my home! Meaning it crawled under my door and lied down dead. It really is easy to have compassion for anything dying. Anything that is so hated and despised that NO ONE seems to LOVE it.   
It is in this moment that I realized that my life is worth a lot. And I am a powerful prayer warrior. There are many living, breathing beings that LOVE me. And I am darn cute. SO since I am blessed I should have compassion for the most unlovable as well the lovable Marley cat.

Because I am blessed to be human. And gratefully happy that I am not a cockroach.